Fruit Loops

I've figured out all my frantic posting today has to do with sublimating my fear at going back to my job. Sad, pathetic, etc. etc. Not only am I afraid I'll get run down and sick again, but I'm also not looking forward to interacting with management over my absences. Being legitimately sick does not constitute valid contrition so that one's transgressions against management will be forgiven, apparently, as discussed in depth elsewhere. So I have to run around and get more paperwork to prove "See, I was really sick!" so some bureaucrat paper shuffler can have a job to do and I can continue in my current "grovel and supplicate" act of perpetual contrition "job" until I find something "better." Or different, at any rate.

I'm convinced the same "people" who spend their days making up reasons why you can't have your vacation and sick time, and why your FMLA papers are invalid so the hospital is going to fire you for being legitimately sick are in actual fact descendants of the same demon spawn exorcised from hell by Lucifer (in a story related through some hitherto unknown apocrphyal text hidden somewhere) because they were just too much of a pain in The Dark Prince's arse and he had his hands full designing his subterranean immolation theme park (known popularly as "hell") and punishing regular, well-intentioned human beings for all eternity, thank you very much.

So now I'm doing the "gerbil-on-speed-scrabbling-blindly-at-the cage-walls in a fruitless attempt to break the bondage of slavery" routine. Hmmm. Must have forgotten to buy my quart of lamb's blood and paint it on my doorsill this year. Damn. Gotta remember to write that one down on the list next year--I totally keep forgetting.

Any way. Not looking forward to another Grow Your Own Twelve Hour Shift Human Eating Plant wherein a twelve hour shift grows up into a big, bad fugly Fourteen Hour Shift. Just provide minimal to inadequate hydration, don't feed it, add a couple of change of shift admissions, and poof! You'll have a fourteen hour shift before you know it, money back not guaranteed, sick time definetely not guaranteed, vacation time... ha ha ha ha! You think you get vacation? What does this look like, America?

And please God, no more codes for awhile. I really can't handle it right now. It's okay if you want to send a couple shitty DNR/DNIs my way as compensation, but no actively GI bleeding, hypovolemic, de-sating COPD full code demented ninety year olds, please. (One of my friends says she dreads the month of June because historically she always has a run of crumpy patients, so she's trying to counter-jinx herself so as to have a crump-free June. So you see how living in Harry Potter's world could help us out a lot.) And this week, if you could just give me some pleasantly confused patients who don't get out of bed and wander around, and some nice ambulatory sane people, that would also be really nice. Thank you. Jamie.