Health is Not Wealth

But it would be a nice thing to have. (Actually, illness is wealth, at least at our hospital, where we will provide you with a pacemaker worth some people's yearly annual salary which still doesn't keep you from dropping your pressures every time you stand up.

I've never been so drained in my life. I fear aging rapidly, and dying in a padded cell somewhere, babbling incoherently about Jesus my hamster, when I really did have a hamster named Jesus, but no one believes me, and I'm sad. But not that sad, because apparently no one at work believes me when I call them and alert them to a patient condition and so I'm used to being ignored.

I love paging different folks who treat you with mild contempt like, "Why did you call me about this copiously bleeding patient? WHY?!" I'm thinking, Well, I just paged your lazy ass because I like having to spend time trying to con you to come up to the floor and just look at the patient, who's actually just fine, no medical problems whatsoever, that's why they're in the hospital, you see. Because they are healthy, well adults who just like bad food, being confined to bed and subjected to cruel and pointless medical procedures to make the hospital rich. Nah, nobody's sick here. I just called because I like to crank call obsessively about nonexistent problems. I'm just making this all up. Thanks for humoring me, buddy!"