Good Friday

Okay, so here's something that should my alma mater at Vanderbilt Divinity School find out about they would revoke my MTS: I forgot it was Good Friday.

I had an appointment today, and everybody was like, "Happy Holidays!" and I was like, "Happy Holidays!" just to not look like a dumbass, while thinking, "What the fuck?! What holiday are they talking about?!"

Then, just as I'm lamely asking a Jewish person (because I'm trying to figure out if it's like, Arbor Day or something), "Do you have any holiday plans?" I realize it's Good Friday/Easter weekend, which would also have explained all the palm branches from last weekend being waved around and brandished like swords by five year olds.

I stopped myself from saying something equally stupid like, "So when's Pesach?" because I don't know, maybe he's a secular Jew, and wow, what a way to sound like an even stupider goy than I already sounded like. Because also, Pesach started this Thursday. I think. And yeah, okay, Diaspora Jews are supposed to have two seders and whatnot, but any way, I didn't want to sound like an even bigger fuck-up/retard.

Oh God. I used to know this stuff. I even wrote a paper in divinity school on the controversy over whether or not Jesus's Last Supper was indeed a seder (because we intellectuals like to nit-pick over shit that 99% of the population accepts as fact and would riot over WWIII style even if we had solid proof one way or another that their popular, traditional convictions were entirely false). It was a really shitty paper, and the professor (who died of cancer later that summer, and therefore I think went easy on the grading) only gave me a B, but the fact that I can't remember anything about my divinity school career that ended a mere three years ago means I am a serious dumbass.

I feel like Superman around kryptonite. The kryptonite being my stupid ass job which is clearly destroying the neural pathways to what was once readily accessible intellectual/common knowledge.