Everybody's Bitch

Okay, so a few days ago I was standing around at the nurses' station with another nurse, and we were doing something really no-brainer and I-can't-believe-they-actually-pay-you-for-that-shit(!), like reading the telemetry monitors, when a patient family member comes up to within a few feet of us and claps at us to get our attention. Exactly like you would clap to get a dog's attention. I'm surprised he didn't also whistle and say, "Here, girl, fetch!"

FAMILY MEMBER:
Hey you! Where can I get some ice?

NURSE:
Down the hallway to the left.

JAMIE:
[whips head around]
Did he just clap at us?! Like you would a dog?

NURSE:
Why, yes he did!

JAMIE:
[examining name badge dubiously]
I think they've got it wrong, here. It says "Jamie." Tomorrow I think I'll go down to security and have it changed to "Bitch" because that would be more the truth around this place.

NURSE:
[keels over laughing]
Oh my God! You're right!

Unfortunately, yes.